Damn straight.
Today, everybody is a little bit Irish. Unless you're like me - a lot of Irish, every day. Today we celebrate Saint Patrick of Ireland, the motherland's most revered religious figure. We honor our saint by dressing in green, and getting shit-faced drunk. This might seem a strange way to celebrate such an esteemed figure in the Catholic church - until you look at the origins of the day itself.
St. Patrick's Day has been a feast day in Christianity since the 17th century. The problem was, St. Patrick had the poor timing to die on March 17 - smack dab in the middle of Lent, when a whole lot of people had given up booze for forty days. So what did Mother Church do? They declared a Free Day! St. Patrick's Day is the one day it is officially okay to jump all over that thing you gave up for Lent. And since a lot of Irish folk gave up "the drink" - and since it's still more than two weeks until Easter - you now understand why, today outside of any given bar, you will likely see a group of people dressed in ridiculous over-sized leprechaun hats, sporting shamrocks, and loudly singing "Danny Boy" while puking violently into the gutter.
Because it's a religious tradition. We have to.
So put on some green. Have a beer, or a whiskey. (Unless you're a recovering alcoholic. In that case, just drink some Mountain Dew.) Put on your favorite U2 album, watch that old VHS recording of Riverdance, and marvel at the sheer size and volume of Liam Neeson's cock. It's all about the Irish today, so get after it.
And Happy St. Patrick's Day, motherfuckers!
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