You'll understand in a second.
The following is an actual text conversation I had with a good friend yesterday. In order to protect his identity, I will call him Farrah Fawcett. Because it makes me giggle:
Farrah Fawcett: Not all pot smokers do other drugs, but all druggies smoke pot.
Me: You're like the Yoda of drug philosophy.
Farrah Fawcett: Thanks? Haha. I've been obsessed with red wine and weed today...
Me: Hmmm. That song practically writes itself.
Farrah Fawcett: Muddy Waters beat me to it.
Farrah Fawcett: Next time Ian [Moore] is here let's go. Seriously.
Me: Agreed. And thanks for liking the blog.
Farrah Fawcett: That's like thanking me for liking chocolate and pussy...
Me: Which, also, thank you for that image now.
Farrah Fawcett: Sounds like a Ween song, huh?
Me: It's not?
Farrah Fawcett: Probably. I know chocolate cake gets me in trouble...
Me: I just Googled it. It's not a song. But I did find half a dozen erotic cake stores that will bake you a chocolate vagina.
Farrah Fawcett: I kind of like them at different times.
Me: Yes. And for very different reasons. I hope.
These are the kinds of communications I have on a pretty regular basis. Which only proves that I have the most kick-ass, awesomest friends, ever. Plus, now you're thinking that a dead Charlie's Angel is regularly texting me, and talking with me about her obsessions for red wine and weed. And chocolate vaginas.