Life Would Be Easier If I Were A Thundercat.

In the first place, I'd have a kick-ass theme song.

     I mean, I'm not saying it'd be a cakewalk. How easy can your life be, when you're the last surviving members of your entire race, you're stranded on a strange planet, and some jacked-up evil undead lord called Mumm-Ra is constantly trying to fuck you up? I am thinking about this realistically. *cough*

     I'm just thinking of all the things I wouldn't have to worry about if I was a Thundercat. You know what Thundercats never have to do? Taxes. Because it's not even their goddam planet. (Insert joke about "alien" status here.) And evidently the Thundercats never need to worry about employment - unless you count fighting Mumm-Ra and his band of mutants, which they do, all the time, but I've never seen them collect a dime for it. Hell, they never even invoiced anybody for all that ass-kicking. 

     Thundercats don't have to worry about where to live. They have this fortress, that I guess they built themselves, which apparently means that being a Thundercat also makes you badass at DIY projects. (How come I've never seen that show on cable? HGTV presents Thundercabins and Thundercottages. I'd have watched the shit out of that show.)  And Thundercats never seem to worry about nutrition. Whenever they want food, it's just lying around. And it all seems to be whole and organic; not processed. Which means that, in addition to never having to pay taxes or work a 9 to 5 job, and being able to build a fortress by hand, Thundercats can also grow their own food. Christ, they're like communal hippies, but with super-powers.

     You know what else you don't have to worry about when you're a Thundercat? Heartache. Thundercats have no romantic relationships. Probably because there's only one girl in the group, Cheetara, and she seems to take no interest in the guys that she's around every day, all the time. (Technically there are two girls, but the other one - WilyKit - is the Thundercat equivalent of a tween.) And I suppose that's for the best. I mean, what if Mumm-Ra and his minions (the mutant kind, not the cute yellow kind) were attacking the fortress, and the Thundercats have to swing into action, but Panthro is all morose and weepy because Cheetara broke up with him? He drives the Thundertank, for God's sake. 

This is what Panthro looked like before he had his heart broke.

But now he looks like this. And there's nobody to drive the goddam tank.

     But being a Thundercat means never having to say that you're just not up for another battle with Mumm-Ra, on account of having the person you deeply love tell you that she just doesn't see a future with you. Thundercats don't ever have to dwell on that shit; wondering why they weren't enough, or what about them didn't measure up. 

     I don't know. Maybe it'd be worth the tradeoff. I'd definitely want to talk about new costumes, though. That spandex shit ain't making' it.