Ciao, Motherfu*kers.

     I know, I know. Late again. I didn't post last week because I was having yet another hard look at the next chapter of the book (Making Sh*t Up: An Improvised Life, which, if you don't know what that is by now, I really can't help you), and I realized that it's just essentially a blog piece (one of my earliest) that I already wrote what seems like a hundred years ago (it was three years ago, and yes, I'm aware that I exaggerate, thank you very much), and which you can read right here.

     Then Prince died, and I had to - literally had to - listen to the Purple Rain soundtrack twenty-three times in a row, and grieve the loss of a truly original human being, while at the same time celebrating his life and legacy by shredding the shit out of "Let's Go Crazy" on air guitar.

     So, no. I didn't post last week.

     And I'm posting early this week, because tomorrow, KC (the beautiful red-haired girlfriend, I've mentioned her a few times) and I are going here:

Well, I mean, maybe not EXACTLY here. I just presume all of Switzerland looks like this.

     No shit. We're going to Switzerland. Home of Alps, and cheese, and chocolate, and I just realized I'm probably not going to the bathroom for like a month after this trip. No matter. KC has friends in Geneva and Bern who are going to show us around. I have been informed that we will hike in the Swiss Alps. I have also been informed that my girlfriend will feel compelled to belt out the entire soundtrack to The Sound of Music when we get up there, and I am (mostly) okay with that. I imagine it's hard to be in a bad mood in literally the second happiest country on Earth (Switzerland only got beat out by Denmark, and only probably because of those "drug consumption rooms" I keep hearing about). So I'm going to eat fondue in the place where it was invented, and I'm going to eat chocolate so good that I'll almost assuredly become a choco-snob, and I'm going to hike in the Alps and listen to the love of my life channel her inner Julie Andrews, and it's going to be awesome.

     But wait. There's more.

     

Two words: Florence fucking Italy.

     The rest of our trip will be spent in Italy. Which is to say that if I don't have arteriosclerosis by the time we leave Switzerland, it's a pretty safe bet I'll be coming home with it after Milan, Florence, and Bologna. Which is still better than syphilis. 

     I'm excited. Bordering on giddy. I've never been to Europe. I've never been to lots of places, but that begins to change tomorrow. I can't promise I'm going to post while I'm there; I'm not bringing the laptop, and I hate trying to write on my phone. I'll probably take a lot of pictures and keep a journal, then get it all down when I get back. 

     Until then, as the Italians say: Ciao, motherfuckers!